Church bells ring, are ya listening?
On the bride, diamonds are glistening. It's a beautiful sight; we’ll party all
night, walking in a Wedding Wonderland!
Is your Facebook news feed filled
with relationship status updates and last name changes? Does your mailbox burst
at the brim with hand-calligraphed, LOVE stamped invitations? Is your waistline
3 inches bigger because of mass consumption of petit fours and monogrammed
bridal shower cookies? Tis’ the season for wedded bliss!
J’adore me some
weddings, y'all! The décor, the dress, the dinner and all that love in one room! Being
a wedding guest is something I cherish. A wedding ceremony is one of the most
sacred and intimate things you can witness in your lifetime. To be invited to celebrate such a
meaningful occasion for your friends or family is a privilege that I hold so dear. Many brides and grooms
brush up on their etiquette while planning the wedding but us guests should
hit the books as well! As a former member of the wedding planning industry, I
can safely say attending a wedding “ain’t my first rodeo.” I have seen it all: the
good, the bad and the downright UGLY! Sometimes we forget the true meaning of a
wedding and party like it’s 1999- taking no prisoners. We may lose sight that
the wedding is about the love the couple shares and the uniting of two families.
You may be mumbling “Sandy don’t preach…I’m in trouble deep,” but I just wanted
to take the time to share some wedding day decorum that will make everyone’s
world a better place.
Disclaimer: I am not
Emily Post, I am not Martha Stewart and I am not Kate Middleton. Anyone who
knows me has probably seen me walk around barefoot, dance on a table or chew
gum with my mouth open. I do however deeply admire the sanctity of marriage and
truly believe weddings should be a joyous and revered celebration. Have fun,
toss back a few wine spritzers, Twist-N-Shout but be respectful.
* Perfectly Punctual- I
will start off with the hardest pill to swallow. Mark my words that
I will be late to my own funeral but I will not be late to a wedding. Give
yourself or your date "SGT" or as we call it, Sorority Girl Time. If the wedding ceremony starts
at 6:00pm tell yourself or your date 5:00pm. The day before go ahead and map
out your route, check for road closures or inclement weather as these will all effect travel time. Depending on
where the ceremony is going to be held (hotel, park, church, etc.) you may also
want to determine the parking situation. Is it self-parking, valet only or
everyman-for-himself street parking? Remember, there is no harm being early to
a wedding. Seize the opportunity to snoop around in a fancy hotel bathroom, get
a pre-party martini at the bar or practice singing your hymnals. As my cheer coach
always told me “…To be on time is to be late and to be late is unacceptable.”
(ESPECIALLY for a wedding!)
* Thank you, thank you
very much- Somewhere between the Cha-Cha Slide and the Cupid Shuffle, take time
out of the party to profusely thank the parents of the bride and groom. Even if
the couple paid entirely for the wedding, let the parents know what an honor it
was to be included in such a personal celebration for the family. Tell them why
the bride/groom is special to you and what an awesome person they raised. A wedding is a celebration for the families as much as the bride
and groom. A short yet sincere email of gratitude to the couple and/or their
parents post wedding is always a welcomed gesture of gentility.
* Couple Care- If the
opportunity arises offer to get the bride and groom a drink or maybe a plate
of food. Often newlyweds get so caught up in the mixing and the
mingling they forget to sample the cuisine they have been dreaming about for
over a year. Don’t get disgruntled if their wedding planner or maître D takes
over this task; your offer to fetch them a drink or a jerk chicken skewer will
not go unnoticed. It also gives you an excuse to tell the love birds how happy
they both look and thank them for inviting you to this momentous
celebration.
* Think Before You
Drink- When the words “open bar” are uttered, do the gold-lined clouds part and
are you serenaded by the sugary voices of a thousand angels? Since the dawn on
time libations and celebrations have gone hand in hand- Jesus even sipped on
some vino rojo at the Last Supper. Weddings are parties with a purpose,
honoring a sacred commitment two people in love have just made. At the bar have
a few, keep your water table up and if you must “tie one on” that night, make
plans with your buds for the after party at a local pub or in the hotel lounge.
The public profession of love two of your favorite people just made should be
exalted not halted by your drunken frat boy foppery.
* May I Have Your Attention Please- Try
to be front and center during formalities. These include wedding party
introductions, first dances and cake cutting. Don't go to the bar, don't text,
don't chit chat at the table- just give the couple and their parents your full
undivided attention. Their marriage is after all why you have the luxury of a 4
hour open bar and unlimited crab cakes. Want to dine and dash to get away from the smelly cat lady at
your table? Just have another sip (or huge gulp) of your Vodka Soda and try to
stay through a few more dances. The old adage is you can leave after the cake
is cut but use personal judgment as these days sometimes the cake is used for dessert.
A wedding is a once in a lifetime event for the twosome- help them get their money's worth!
* Adequate Attire- If
you are lucky, the invitation may tell you what to wear: semi-formal, formal,
black tie, etc. If you are not given dress code instructions and are in doubt,
it’s always best to over dress. I don’t mean wear a Mr. Peanut top hat and tails to a
beach side wedding in Maui but wear something a little nicer than Uncle Eddie’s
Aloha shirt and khaki shorts. Ladies, colorful and classy tea-length cocktail
dresses are always appropriate (beware of the bosom factor.) Gentlemen, a
non-patterned button-up shirt, blazer and starched slacks are a safe bet
anywhere. Call me old school, but I still think the bride should be the only
one in white or any shade of it and despite the amount of rump shaking, shoes
should be left on. Don’t fret over
fashion, just use your intuition along with what your mother taught you and you
will be dressed to impress!
* Present A Present-
Being invited to a wedding is an honor and privilege in itself. It is customary
to send the couple a gift if you receive a wedding invitation even if you cannot
attend the blessed event. Contrary to popular belief the cost or amount of the
gift is not directly correlated to how much the couple is spending per person
at the wedding. As with any other occasion a wedding gift should be meaningful
to the recipient, personal and hopefully useful. Money or gift cards are the
most popular wedding gift as nest building can be pretty costly. In addition to
the couple’s wedding gift it is always nice to contribute a few extra bucks if
they host a “Dollar Dance” during the festivities. Did I get you in a giving mood? You may want a few more greenbacks for that heavy-handed bartender or that speedy
valet attendant. They work hard for the money too!
Relish in the fact that
someone you love or at least know of is celebrating one of the happiest day
lives and you have the honor of being apart of it. Be smart, be courteous and be safe. May you all "eat, drink and be married!"
